Matt Bonner is a terrible CEO.

No one man should have all that power, especially not Matt Bonner. Definitely not Matt Bonner.

Matt Bonner stars in baby carrot rap video commercial.

Had this existed 20 years ago, I just might actually like carrots, but nope. Not even Matt Bonner can change me.

Udonis Haslem once tried to cheat off of fellow Gator, Matt Bonner, on a test.

From Ira Winderman of Sun Sentinel:

Q.  Spurs forward Matt Bonner, a former Florida teammate, calls you the toughest guy that he's ever known.  Do you ever mix it up with him in practice real good or in a game?  Any incidents or anything like that? 

A:  "We banged a little bit.  But obviously he stayed on the perimeter and I was down low.  We banged a little bit.  If I'm the toughest guy he knows, then he's definitely the smartest guy I know. If I'm not mistaken, he actually dropped a class because he got a B, which I would have gave my left arm for a B. And he dropped the class for a B.  I thought he was nuts." 

Q.  He didn't tutor you at all? 

A: "No.  It was a funny story.  I said I was joking with him.  I said Matt, I got . . .  I can't remember what class it was.  And I said I'm going to sit by you and I'm going to look at your paper.  He said, 'No, you're not, but I'll help you study.' I was like, 'Get the hell out of here.  I can study on my own.  I don't need you to study.' "

Good ol' straight laced Matt Bonner. He just can't do any wrong.

Random NBA .GIF of the Day: Manu Ginobili's curve-ball pass.

MANU GOD. Via: @BuzzFeedSports

Damn it, Matt Bonner. SHOOT IT. It's the only one of two ways you will ever make it to SportsCenter's Top 10. Don't screw it up.

Random NBA .GIF of the Day: The Matt Bonner and Zach Randolph Jump Ball.

Gravity is a jerk. Via: @cjzero

Amazing display of hang time by both players, but there was no way Z-Bo was going to out-jump the former high school dunk contest champion.

This heckling Lakers fan wants Matt Bonner's attention.

One does not simply get attention from the Red Mamba from heckling his last name, that's just impolite. Every knows the only way to Matt's heart is a good sandwich.

Via: The Big Lead

Matt Bonner was distracted by Drake and Nick Cannon during the 3 Point Contest.

Eric Gay/AP Photo

Matt Bonner's successful internet campaign that got him into the 3 Point Contest was the fans' first triumph over the tradition NBA rules. We made Matt's dream into a reality and it was great. But it was supposed to be a bigger victory for the internet, had our second favorite (Sorry, Scal > everyone) red head won in the finals of the contest instead of falling to Kyrie Irving, who no one thought would win. His loss was inexcusable, victory was promised implied, and jokes like this after disappointing your fans doesn't help your case. We can't forgive you that easily.

From 48 Minutes of Hell:

"You do everyting you can to prepare for it, but when you're shooting and you Drake sitting right next to you and Nick Cannon from America's Got Talent's right there and it makes you a little nervous.

Okay, I get the Drake part, but Nick Cannon, really? I am more convinced that his "hosting" was what cost you the competition. And I can't bring myself to believe that you actually listen to Drake's music. I thought you were a man of better taste, Matt. Maybe you weren't who I thought you were.

If you can't tell already, yes, I am still sad and bitter over the loss. Matt, it's okay dude, I still love you and your sweet stache. Hope you will have a chance to redeem yourself next year.

Why we should all want Matt Bonner to shoot at the 3-Point Contest.

Soobum Im/USA Today

Matt Bonner has longed for the invite to partake in the All-Star 3 point shoot out since the beginning of his NBA career. Despite shooting a career 42 percent from behind the arc, he was never once asked to participate. Whether it maybe due to the fact that he is not the most interesting person on and off the court (to which I disagree), has red hair and wears the last existing pair of New Balance basketball shoes on the planet, I don't know. All I know is that it will be criminal if he gets refused again in the upcoming All Star weekend. It is especially criminal now that he revealed what he plans to do if selected.

From SLAM:

Since I grew up in New England worshiping Larry Bird, I fantasize of some day winning on the final “money ball”. I’d then pay homage to my childhood hero by walking off the court with my index finger held high in the air…short shorts and all. Of course, I realize that even if I were picked, the chances of that scenario actually playing out are about as good as Deer Tick’s chances of winning a Grammy this year (which they should!). Alas, a man can dream.

This needs to happen, maybe letting your hair grow out into a Larry Bird mullet will increase your chances. No one can say no to a red mullet and nothing can attract more attention than that. The short-shorts will help too.

Matt Bonner knows two ways to get on SportsCenter Top 10.

An excerpt from Matt Bonner's Q&A on Hardwood Paroxysm:

Do you feel obligated to make a shot after someone gives you a really special pass, like behind-the-back? From a spectator’s standpoint, it always feels like a supreme let down when players don’t make a shot on great passes. Do you feel the same way?

Absolutely.  For me, there are basically 2 ways I can make the SC Top 10.  The first is getting dunked on (i.e. Blake Griffin).  And the second, is if Manu hits me with some ridiculous cross-court-bullet-no-look-behind-the-back-pass and I somehow catch it and make the ensuing wide-open shot.

Please check out the rest of the article here for things like this:

Who would win in a staring contest: Tim Duncan or Kawhi Leonard?
Kawhi would win because he is 14 years younger and would most likely out live Tim.

 Matt Bonner is the Best. #LetBonnerShoot. (In the 3-point contest)

A Video of Matt Bonner hitting trick shots all over the Spurs practice facility.

Matt Bonner is the best. He is one of those few NBA players that are real human beings and could easily be related to. I mean it is perfectly normal to love a good sandwich and new balance basketball shoes, even though they don't make them anymore. This video was done in part for the Canada Basketball 90th Anniversary and you might ask why Matt Bonner is part of this despite being born in the States. Well, when he came down to Toronto to play for the Raptors, besides becoming a fan favorite, he met some friends that eventually hooked him up with his now, wife. After obtaining Dual Citizenship (in both U.S. and Canada), Matt has often expressed his interest to betray his birth country to play for us (Canadians) because he loved this country and not totally because he will never make the U.S. squad. I am fine with that, the Canadian team needs all the help they can get, so why not add a 6 foot 10, three point shooter that led the NBA in three pointer percentage in the 2010-2011 season. It doesn't hurt that he can hit shots sitting down and off the walls.

Amir Johnson shaved a Raptor Claw in to the back of his head.

Via: @IamAmirJohnson

Amir Johnson is certainly not the first one to shave his team's logo in to his head. While the Raptor Claw looks pretty good with the red, the actual original Raptor logo would have been even cooler. Matches your tattoos too. Other players have done this as well, none more famous for it than Metta World Peace, a psycho formerly known as Ron Artest.

He only needs a Chicago Bull and whatever the hell a Pacer is, to complete the collection of the teams he played for.

Tony Allen had a Grizzly done, but it looked more cute than intimidating. A grown man should not have glitter on the back of his head and especially not for Bear eyes.

Via: Curtis Givens

Fans are not to be outdone either, here is a picture of dudes with NBA dudes in their hair. The kid with the Matt Bonner even got suspended from school for it. His asshole of a Principal forced him to remove before he was allowed to attend school again.

 

Matt Bonner, 2013 Sprite Slam Dunk Contest Champion.

If you are wondering why this is so surprising, go search for Matt Bonner dunks on YouTube and you will know exactly why this is best thing ever. I will even do it for you. Amazed yet? Even though he was once a high school dunk contest champion and stands 6 foot 10, the Red Rocket never dunks in NBA games. And to actually hang on the rim to show off? What is happening to everything I thought I knew about the NBA. I can't take this much all at once, Matt please consider your viewers and take baby steps. We are not ready, but if you are willing, join the 2013 Slam Dunk contest and win it for all the little white kids watching so they can believe again. (Harmless joke).

The Spurs are on fire today.


Via: The Big Lead