The Dallas Mavericks made their own SpongeBob intro.

That's it. They win. The Mavericks are the greatest internet team of all time. 

The Dallas Mavericks cover "What does the fox say?"

I don't know what any of that was, but I love it. The Mavs won the internet before their season even started. This is going to be a great year.

Dirk Nowitzki on Game Day.

Dirk is just so likable.

The Dallas Mavericks' Superman pitch to Dwight Howard.

AHAHAHAHAHA... SERIOUSLY, THIS WAS AN ACTUAL THING MARK CUBAN AND CO. MADE TO CONVINCE DWIGHT HOWARD TO SIGN WITH THE MAVS. ALMOST GENIUS.

Steve Nash is still really embarrassed by his cowboy photo with Dirk and Mark Cuban.

HOW DID I MISS THIS? Via: SI

From Grantland:

How much do you regret the photo, from all those years ago, with you, Dirk [Nowitzki], and [Mark] Cuban — the one with the cowboy hats? 

Oh my god. I don’t really believe in regret [laughs], but it’s highly embarrassing. That was for [Sports Illustrated]. 

I hadn’t actually remembered which outlet ran that thing. 

I think it was gonna actually be the cover, but it ended up just being an article. It was right when we won our first playoff series. But, yeah, I’m just glad it wasn’t me on someone’s back. But, really, it’s all bad.

Cowboy hats, awkward tween smiles, unnatural poses, and a "Mavericks Intensity" shirt, I can see why Steve is still embarrassed.

Dirk Nowitzki sings "Satisfaction" in a car.

Because listening to Dirk butcher a classic the first time, just wasn't enough. Terrible singing aside, how did he fit into that car? There is no way a 7 footer can squeeze into a sedan comfortably.

Dirk Nowitzki flops in a charity All-Star soccer game in Germany.

Yo Dirk, I know your people invented the crazy illegal German knee procedure and everything, but being 7 foot and falling for no apparent reason, can't be good for your knees, bro.

Dirk Nowitzki mentors lucky fan one-on-one.

SWEAT SHORTS? REALLY, DUDE? The extra pockets are great, but NO, that's not okay, not even if they have zippers.

Dirk Nowitzki's "Forever BIG" NBA Finals Promo.

Not exactly sure why they made a Dirk promo considering the fact that his team didn't even make the playoffs, but this is already better than their "We Are Watching" stock footage promos.

P.S. Where can I get one of those Dirk action figures? It better comes with a mini comb for managing his luscious locks.

Dirk Nowitzki finally shaves his beard.

There goes three months of hard work. Farewell glorious beard. You will be missed.

The Round Up - March 28th, 2013.

Barry Gossage/NBAE/Getty Images

Royalty: DeMarcus Cousins went full on Beast mode last night, feasting on the weak souls of the Phoenix Suns, with 34 points (12 of 16), and a helping of 14 rebounds in 30 minutes of play. His tiny teammate, Isiah Thomas cleaned up the leftovers with 23 points on 6 of 10 shooting and 8 assists. There really weren't anything the Suns could have done in this game to slow the Kings down. I mean what you can you do when a team scores 62 points in your paint, compared to the 42 you had in theirs? Defense, anyone? There was a lone bright light for the Suns, Luis Scola did score 25 points (10 of 13) and grabbed 7 rebounds in the losing effort.

Empty Lake: With a chance to pass Wilt Chamberlain for 4th most points in NBA history, Kobe Bryant came up 5 points short, finishing with a game-high 30 points on 6 of 17 shooting in the loss to the Milwaukee Bucks. Dwight Howard added 15 points (6 of 8) and 15 boards. The Bucks starting line up completely outmatched the opposition, combining for 95 of the teams' total 113. LARRY SANDER! led the way with 21 points (8 of 11) and 13 rebounds. While Brandon Jennings chipped in for 20 points (7 of 14) and 7 dimes against his hometown team. This Lakers loss is huge and could potentially comeback to haunt them, as it gives the Utah Jazz a shot to reclaim their 8th spot in the West with a win over the Portland Trail Blazers today.

Update - More bad news for the Lakers, Kobe Bryant has a bone spur in his left foot and is out indefinitely.

More Beards: The beards won't be coming off for another two games, everyone. In the much anticipated .500 beard game, where several members of the Dallas Mavericks were prepared to rid themselves of the facial hair they have grown in their winning drought, the results were negative, with the Mavs falling to two games behind .500 after this 25 point loss to the Indiana Pacers. Dirk Nowitzki did all he could, going off for a team-high 21 points on 10 of 20 shooting and 7 rebounds. With the exception of Vince Carter, who came off the bench for 14 points on 13 shots, no one scored more than 10 points. And to top that off, Dallas, as a team shot a depressing 39 percent from the field. Indiana, on the other hand. did not have that problem, hitting 48 percent of their shots. Paul George had 24 points (10 of 17), 8 boards and 6 assists.

The Bearded Dallas Mavericks are bringing a barber to their potential .500 game.

Some of you might be unaware of this, but there is a reason why the Dallas Mavericks, specifically Dirk Nowitzki, O.J. Mayo, Vince Carter, Chris Kaman, Elton Brand, and Jae Crowder are sporting a sudden abundance of facial hair and it is not because they have a future cameo on "Game of Thrones." The Mavericks, who got off to a slow start in the season when Dirk had to miss 6 weeks to recover from knee surgery, made a pact in early February to not shave until their record was .500. And with only one win away from reaching their goal, they brought their barber to the American Airlines Center in Dallas for when they take on the Indiana Pacers tonight. If the Mavs walk away with the victory, those beards will come off.

From ESPN Dallas:

Omar the barber is coming to Thursday night's home game against the Indiana Pacers. 

"Man, everyone is going to have their clippers in their locker Thursday and hopefully you guys can watch us shave them off," said Mayo, who said he doesn't know his barber's last name. "The barber will be here. We're going to leave him tickets and give ourselves a chance to shave them off. 

Nowitzki said his wife of less than a year, Jessica, doesn't like the look but has been a good sport about it. Nowitzki's mother recently told him that he looks 45 years old. 

"I don't really want to jinx it, but I'm ready to get this thing off," Nowitzki said. "That's a big outing for us Thursday against a very good, tough team from the Eastern Conference."

If anything, Dirk looks more like a viking, or caveman, whatever you prefer. I am just not too sure if they should go ahead and shave their majestic male manes when it got them this far, the last thing you would want to do is to reverse jinx yourself.

The Round Up - March 26th, 2013.

Danny Bollinger/NBAE/Getty Images

Beard Gang: The Los Angeles Clippers could have won to tie their franchise for most wins in a season, but instead the Dallas Mavericks move to only one game behind the Lakers for the 8th spot in the Western Conference and just one win short of reaching the .500 mark to shave off those glorious beards that should really be kept. I mean why shave it if it has gotten this far. Anyway, Dirk Nowitzki passed Patrick Ewing for the 17th on the NBA all time scoring list with 33 points (12 of 21) and 9 rebounds in the overtime win. The Mavericks bench was huge in this outscoring the Clippers' second unit 40 to 28. With the game down to the wire, the Clippers had only one person to go to, and Chris Paul delivered, scoring the 10 of his total 33 points (on 12 of 15 shooting) in 4th quarter (keep in mind that those 10 points were the Clippers' last 10) to give his team a 2 point lead with 5 seconds remaining. But O.J. Mayo had to step in to make things more fun, hitting a tough left handed lay up to force overtime, where Dirk would take over and lead his team to victory.

O.J. MayNO.

Green Light: In a game where both teams were without their main defensive piece to clog up the middle, Boston without Kevin Garnett and New York without Tyson Chandler, this contest turned into an offensive exhibition, well, at least it was for one team. Carmelo Anthony and J.R. Smith combined for 61 percent of the entire Knicks offense. Melo went off for 29 points on 30 shots and 8 rebounds, while J.R. Smith bombed atomically (I don't think I am using this right) off the bench for 32 points (13 of 24) and 7 boards to become first player in this season to have three 30 point games off the bench. Jeff Green led all Celtics with 19 points on 6 of 14 shooting, 10 rebounds and 6 dimes. Boston have now lost 5 straight, and for the first time since 2003-04', have allowed two New York wins in Boston in the same season. The Knicks, on the other hand, are rolling, winning all 5 of their last 5 games.

The Pack: The Minnesota Timberwolves won their first back to back on the road this season, in the victory over the Detorit Pistons. The Wolves, who have struggled mightily from just about everywhere on the floor, specifically from the behind the three point line, shot 54 percent in the Palace of Auburn Hills. To make things even weirder, Minnesota held the Pistons to rather low 41 percent from the field and with the exception of three players, no one in a Pistons uniforms registered in double figures or even broke 9 points. Nikola Pekovic led the pack with 18 points on 7 of 10 shooting and 11 boards. Tiny Puerto Rican man, J.J. Barea came off the bench for a game-high 21 points on 11 shots.

Did Ricky just throw a normal pass, wait, what?

The Round Up - March 14th, 2013.

D. Clarke Evans/NBAE/Getty Images

Set in Stone: With the win over the Dallas Mavericks on Thursday night, the San Antonio Spurs extends their NBA record of 50 or more wins to 14 seasons. After a slow start, going 1 for 7 from the field, Tim Duncan would finish with 28 points on 12 of 20 shooting, and 19 boards to become the oldest player to get such a line since 1992. The Spurs, still without Tony Parker, got their other scoring punch from Gary Neal. He had 16 points (6 of 13), including a few critical threes down the stretch. The Mavericks, who were on the last of their 4 game trip hung in for the most parts of this game. Down 3 with less than 30 seconds remaining on the clock, Dirk (21 points, 11 rebounds) would drain one from the elbow to cut the lead to 1. With a chance to win it after a Manu miss on the other end, the Mavs would come out of their time out with a Vince Carter (10 points, 4-12) fade way three that just rims out.

Yep, braids are cool again.

Via: Reddit

Bright Lights: In the dreaded return to Portland after spending a whole season at the Rose Garden slightly overweight, Raymond Felton, after insinuating that he would drop 50 points against his former team, had only 11 points on 12 shots. The rest of his teammates weren't of much help either, with the exception of J.R. Smith, who went off for 33 points on 11 of 21 shooting. The game was close in beginning, but after Portland closed out the second quarter with a 13-0 run, the Knicks would only come as close as 4 points in 4th, where J.R. Smith made three straight threes. In his second national television debut, Blazer's rookie, Damian Lillard erupted for 26 points (11 of 18), and 10 dimes, joining LeBron James, Russell Westbrook and Stephen Curry as one of the 4 players in this season with at least 1,200 points and 400 assists. LaMarcus Aldridge added 22 points (8 of 15), 10 rebounds and 5 blocks, while playing with a migraine.

Knicks' Stoudemire, Chandler and Anthony were all out due to injuries. Stoudemire will go under season ending knee surgery. Neither Chandler or Anthony have been confirmed for the next game.

He may or may not have traveled on this one.

Dallas Mavericks spoof Super Bowl commercial.

The Dallas Mavericks' video team has been on a roll lately, but I am not too sure, how I feel about this one. You can watch the original ad here, it is nothing different. You just get the kids' real heads instead of Maverick faces. The video team totally whiffed this one though, they got it all wrong when they put Darren Collison in bear wrestling. We all know that is a thing Chris Kaman would totally do. He is the huntsman of the group. Seriously, go check out his twitter account, it is literally riddled with dead animals and guns (NSFW or weak stomachs). Strange dude.

The Dallas Mavericks Harlem Shake.

I have never taken any form of non-prescription drugs, but I have a feeling that this is what it must be like when you are high on them.

For those of you that don't recognize this new internet craze. This is what they call the "Harlem shake" now. The premise of  these videos is to have one guy dance to the song around a group people, who act nonchalantly for the purpose of comedy. Once the the song asks you to "do the Harlem shake," everyone, that was once doing nothing, will lose their mind and go crazy with you for the rest of the video. Yea this is a thing, the internet will never cease to amaze me.

Kings Security Guard locks Dirk Nowitzki down on Defense.

He will have none of your jukes, Dirk, none of them. If the Mavericks are smart, they should hire him as their defensive coordinator. They could really use his help, seeing that Dallas is currently 21st in the league in defensive rating. Since Sacramento might lose their team, Mark Cuban can probably snatch him up for discount.

The Dallas Mavericks created Super Marion Bros.

If only the road to become a NBA Champion was World 1-1 easy.

Dirk Nowitzki visits the hospital to play basketball with a new fan.

Dirk Nowitzki recently visited the Dallas Medical Center to meet kids one on one, and Will Kolassa from Chicago was one of the lucky patients. This was an incredible gesture, even though Dirk failed to make Will switch allegiances, he has done a great thing by just showing up and playing some hoops with the kid.

The Round Up - December 23rd, 2012.

Stats Rundown

The Los Angeles Clippers are the hottest team in the NBA right now. It is only fitting that Blake Griffin had 23 points (8 of 12 shooting), 11 rebounds, 3 assists, 4 steals and a block to tie the Oklahoma City Thunder's win total, making them second in the west. (The Clips are have one more loss than the Thunder)

Dishin': Another 13 assists for Chris Paul in the 13th straight Clippers win. He had 17 points and 5 steals against the Phoenix suns.

Boards: Nikola Pekovic, the human ogre grabbed 17 rebounds to go with his 21 points in the loss at the Madison Square Garden.

Don't Come it a Come Back: Carmelo Anthony scored 19 of the Knicks' 23 fourth quarter points for the comeback win over the Minnesota Timberwolves. Melo finished with 33 points (10 of 25) and 7 rebounds.

Phantom Punch: Carmelo Anthony whacks Andrei Kirilenko twice and then flops to get the call. Have you no shame? (Via: @cjzero)

Even Mike Woodson didn't like that. (Via: @cjzero)

It is not funny, don't abuse your star status to get out of fines.

German Fade away: Dirk Nowitzski returns to the NBA game for the first time after knee surgery. He went for 8 points on 3 of 4 shooting and grabbed 6 boards against the San Antonio Spurs.

Splash: The San Antonio Spurs sets a new franchise record for 20 three point makes in a game. 7 of those were courtesy of Danny Green who only missed one shot in the victory over the Dallas Mavericks.

The Original 3: Manu Ginobili's unnecessary no look passes are the best.

Denied: Shannon Brown didn't want to embarrass Blake Griffin by going to his full 50 inch vertical.

Put Back: Dante Cunningham cleans up Ricky Rubio's mess.

Late Rotation: No stare downs or any taunting from J.R. Smith, I don't even know this guy anymore.