Random NBA .GIF of the Day: Kobe Bryant's Secret Mamba Handshake.

Via: @YahooSports

HISSSSSSSS.

Random NBA Photo of the Day: Metta World Peace and the Mamba-mobile.

Via: @MettaWorldPeace

Yep, this is a thing.

Random NBA Photo of the Day: Kobe's "Ice Mamba" Jacket.

Via: @mcten

After severely spraining his ankle on the foot of Dahntay Jones in the finals seconds against the Atlanta Hawks on Wednesday night, Kobe was questionable to play in Indiana on Friday. Although Bryant did miraculously play the entire 12 minutes of the first quarter, he would sit out for the rest of the game, without a single point to rest his injury. In the end, everything worked out, as the Lakers would get the win on the road and distance themselves from the looming Utah Jazz, who are hoping to take their spot back in the playoffs. Of course to prepare himself for such a game, Kobe at the age of 34 had to go under treatments after treatments to make sure his ankle would be able to hold up in response to the stress of the game. And it wouldn't be Kobe if he didn't team up with Nike to make a "Ice Mamba" jacket to commemorate this game in the case, that Kobe would go off for one of those historic games, where he shrugs off the injury to get the victory for his team. Unfortunately, the fictional campaign that I made up, was short-lived, as the Laker would fail to overcome the pain from his bloated ankle and lose the opportunity for his own version of those iconic Jordan games. It's okay though, you will always have 81.

Kobe Bryant got a new nickname.

You know how Kobe never really got a nickname from anybody, so he labeled himself as the "Black Mamba," which he somehow made work in those Nike ad campaigns. Anyways it looks like someone finally stepped up to the challenge and I am  not too sure how I feel about it.

From ESPN:

"I was in my coffin a few years ago," Bryant said, gladly reminding the media that plenty of the pundits and scribes out there have soiled hands from prematurely throwing dirt on his grave. "Vino is out of the barrel."  

"Vino" is the new nickname Bryant adopted after a writer for his advertising agency called him it in a text after Bryant had three highlight reel variety dunks Thursday against Minnesota. 

Sure he did, Kobe. I know you totally did not make up another nickname for yourself and give credit to some random dude, so you don't look fool. Come on, man. you have been in the league for 17 years, we all know what you are up to. Just a heads up, in the future if you want to give yourself a nickname, in, I don't know, maybe in retirement, please choose something, someone will actually use and call you by. The name "Kobe" is already hard to top as it is. 

Kobe Bryant hisses like snake when he he plays basketball.

It was lame when Kobe Bryant nicknamed himself as the "Black Mamba." I mean no one ever nicknames themselves and have it actually stick. There is probably an unwritten rule somewhere that forbids it. But this is Kobe Bryant we are talking about, when he gives himself the nickname, he plays the full part. I will let Jordan Crawford explain it to you.

From DC Sports Blog:

On Kobe Bryant’s noises: “When I (Jordan Crawford) first played with Kobe — they call him the Black Mamba — but then he was doing like a little snake sound when he wanted the ball. It was crazy. It was crazy. It’s like tsssss, tsssss. Like fishing. Tsssss, tssss. He do that. Everybody tells you he’s gonna do it before you play him — like, ‘Wait till you hear him do this.’ And then he [does] it, and it’s like, what? He’s really a mamba. It sounds like some kind of snake.”

You see, Kobe Bryant is dedicated to perfect every single one of his crafts. Whether it be his jump shot, not playing defense or his nickname. He will master it. So when he gave himself the "Black Mamba" title, he knew what he was in for and if hissing was what he needed to do to keep the name, the man will do it.

So according to his tweet, by implication, he probably hisses every single second. Sounds about right.

Kobe Bryant would force Shaq to present his NBA Jersey retirement.

Despite the 3 Championships (one questionable), we all know Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'neal were not the best of friends during their time as Lakers and that is why this was hilarious.

Even though, Shaq has repeatedly called Kobe, his "boy," I highly doubt their relationship is on good terms. But knowing Shaq, he will probably do it just for attention. If he does refuse, there is always Smush Parker, because you know Kobe has a long list of "friends" to choose from.

Kobe Bryant doesn't think he is a ball hog.

Howard Smith - US Presswire

From ESPN:

"I wouldn't say I'm a ball hog. I'm a shooter. I don't necessarily hog the ball, but I put them up though. I definitely much rather shoot it than pass it. That's just how I am."

 This is GOLD.

"I'm a scorer, man. You don't get 30,000 points without knowing how to put yourself in positions to shoot it. The ball just finds scorers and I can always, no matter what system you're in, you can always find a way. Getting up 30 shots ain't easy. A lot of people don't know how to do that. That's what I do. It's like superheroes. Superman can fly. Spider-Man has webs. Steve can pass. I shoot. … I get 'em up! I make no bones about it. That's what I do. That's what I do. Some nights they fall, some nights they don't. But, Rodman was a rebounder, Coop was a defender, I'm a shooter." With that, he added a laugh.

Just a thought, they might fall at a better rate if you don't take shots in double teams.

His teammates obviously don't love it either, Metta World Peace gives us his thoughts:

“When it turns into the Kobe show, it’s hard for everybody to put pressure on. When we put pressure on the other team, all five guys out there, they’ve got to use their legs. Anybody that uses a treadmill, they know you get tired after a while. After an hour, you want to get off that treadmill. Sometimes when we play, Kobe is the only man running on the treadmill and everybody else is relaxing."

Forget defense, the Lakers needs to work on their analogies.

 Via: BYB

Frustrated Kobe Bryant don't know why the Lakers are losing.

Defense?

If you are wondering, this is what he said that got censored:

It is still only December, but if they want to get anywhere near .500 (LAL is 9-13 right now), they have a lot of work to do, until then let the Lakers struggle jokes continue.

The White Mamba explains the difference between him and the Black Mamba.

In conclusion, Brian Scalabrine is the chillest bro in the world. All other arguments are invalid.