Friday, November 9, 2012

Deron Williams picked Reggie Evans to help him fight off a zombie apocalpyse.

In recent interview with GQ, Deron Williams answered a question we really wanted ask (not really):
GQ: Lastly, an important question we've all been wondering. If there was a zombie takeover of Brooklyn, and you had to choose one teammate—current or ex—to fight them off, who are you taking?
Oh, no question. Reggie Evans. He's tough. He's crazy. He'd have my back in any situation. You don't want someone who's going to run away and leave you when those zombies are coming at you. Reggie, he'd be there ‘til the end. I know he'd be fighting every last one with me.
Okay, I am not an expert in the field of zombie killing unless it came down to video games, but I can damn sure choose a better partner. Reggie Evans stand 6 foot 8, with a physically imposing body, would be an obvious choice to go against a mass horde of zombies. But, testicle grabbing is not a skill that will be of use when your brains are in danger because zombie testicles will likely fall off on their own. And neither will excessive flopping be of any effect. Zombies will attack only attack non zombies, so acting like you died by lying on the floor is not going to work.

I feel like it is my mission, nay my duty to help Deron out in this situation by going through his team (Brooklyn Nets) and picking the best possible person for the job. Jerry Stackhouse is clearly out of the question, as he is already a zombie waiting for a chance to pounce. Gerald Wallace will just give himself up early by trying to fight off a bunch of undead creatures at once. Kris Humphris might be good because he has already gone from hell and back. His marriage with Kim Kardashian will provide much needed experience. Upon further review, I have concluded that none other than Joe Johnson is the perfect candidate.

He will not only go under the radar, his possession of a zombie like personality, can easily fool his undead counterparts, lead Deron to safety and when necessary, turn on his killer instinct in the last minute to save the day. If everything else fails, screw the players, take your owner, Mikhail Prokhorov, he is a Russia gangster, has assault weapons at disposal, and last time I heard, guns can actually kill zombies.

Source: GQ


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