Martell Webster hates his daughter's coloring skills.

Not a parent, love kids, but co-sign. NOT EVERYTHING THEY DO IS CUTE.

Martell Webster announces his return to the Wizards in the creepiest way possible.

Martell Webster is back with the Wizards and it only costs four years, 22 million, and the souls of many who have stared in to those black beady eyes.

Via: Martell Webster Instagram

Martell Webster somehow ties in midgets in his interview about "staying ready for games."

Alex Brandon/AP Photo

After the 13 point win over the Milwaukee Bucks on Wednesday night, Martell Webster was asked about his teammate, Trevor Booker's huge fourth quarter production and how important it was to stay ready when the coach decides to take you out of the regular rotation. This was what happened and I can assure you that I did not make this up.

From SB Nation:

WEBSTER: Yeah, definitely. Book wore his heart on his sleeve tonight, and he came out and performed, which is the most important thing. Whatever it takes you to get ready, you've got to do it. Some people are superstitious. Hey, if it helps you get your mind into the game, do it. Do it. At this point where we are in the season, I don't care if you have to come in here and blast music. Whatever it takes. Have two midgets come in here and massage you. Whatever it takes, man, do it. 'COME ON IN HERE. BRING THEM IN HERE. RUB THEM DOWN.' (Laughs). We're at that point right now where we have to sacrifice to get guys into the game, so I'm going to have two midgets come in here and rub me down. 

(Everyone laughs). 

REPORTER, holding back laughter: The proper term is "little people." 

WEBSTER: No, I call them midgets. I went to school with one, and I said, 'What do you prefer?' She said, 'I don't care. Midget. Call me a midget.' So that's what I'm going to call you.

Martell Webster, man of the people, master of hyperbole.